as many of you know I was involved in an 'incident' recently, and have been dealing with the aftermath of that since. I was somewhat unaware until I noticed that I was feeling very much myself on friday, but I have been very much not myself since my accident. Looking back, it makes a lot of sense that I would be 'not myself' as I was dealing with a crash, taking large amounts of pain medicine, with periods of withdrawl interspersed throughout, and then in the last week or so going through the...

I feel like i have become trapped in a bottle that is my own head. Depression that has run deep in my veins and kept in check by the poetry i write has started to boil over because i have not been able to string together a poem in over a month. and on top of all that so many questions of my history have started surfacing like what if any number of things had bee differen how would my life have ended. what if i had abused drugs until i did massive organ damage. what if i never went snowboarding...

Sometimes I wonder who I actually am. I feel like lately I don't actually know how I should act to be myself, because I feel like I act very immature and childish and just weird and creepy. I don't want to be perceived this way, but I often feel like that's how I come across. In all reality I wish people could see me for the truly innocent young man that I am. I wish i didn't feel like I give off an impression of being someone else, and maybe I don't ACTUALLY seem that way, but I feel like people...